To m y dear readers in the United States and around the world — In the spirit of the season, I wish each of you your choice of the following:
- Merry Christmas
- Happy Chanukah
- Joyous Eid
- Festive Kwanza
- Happy New Year
- Gleeful Occupy
- Erotic Pagan Rite
- Internet Virtual Holiday
- Heartwarming Satanic Sacrifice
- Devout Atheist Season's Greetings
- Possessed Laying-on-of-Hands Ceremony
- Really Neat Reincarnation with Auras and Crystals
And may your name never appear on a Homeland Security "No-fly list".
May you no t vex a marginally literate high school graduate with a badge, a gun, and a can of pepper spray.
May your abu ses at the hands of authority be only cruel, degrading and inhuman, nothing that Mr. Obama or Mr. Cheney would call torture.
May you or your country never experience a NATO or US humanitarian intervention, liberation, or involuntary suicide.
May neither your labor movement nor your elections be supported by the National Endowment for Democracy.
May the depleted uranium, cluster bombs, white phosphorous, and napalm which fall upon your land be as precisely guided and harmless as the State Department says they are.
May you receive for Christmas a copy of "An arsonist's guide to the homes of Pentagon officials."
May you not fall sick in the United States without health insurance, nor desire to go to an American university while being less than wealthy.
May you re-discover what the poor in 18th century France discovered, that rich people's heads can be mechanically separated from their shoulders if they refuse to listen to reason.
May you be given the choice of euthanasia instead of having to watch Republican primary debates.
